Another excerpt- please comment. This is about a girl named Shona who has just moved from New York to Montana to live with her grandmother.
"Well, Shona, that is one interesting style of dress." said grandma as she examined my all black outfit. I was in that stage of rebellion- I was mad at everyone for making me move to lousy Montana.
"Hmm." I replied. The last thing on my list was talking to gardening grandma.
"So thats what the Cheryl was saying... talking about her granddaughter being... emu? Wearing all black and such." Grandma fiddled over the stove as she put on a pot of tea.
"Emo, grandma. Like emotional." I thumped down at the kitchen table. Emu. Emo. This was going to be rough. Grandma started laughing.
"Oh dear! I am awfully old... can't keep up with this slang." she giggled and set an empty milk bottle filled with flowers on the table. I pulled out my sketch book and doodled the flowers. The flowers I were doodling were different, though. The flowers were huge and bursting with life. I sketched a tiny grandma, standing back from the flowers, astonished by the large height.
"An artist are you?" Grandma chirped. I shuffled the notebook into my bag.
"Eh, no."
The Forbidden by Jodi Ellen Malpas Blog Tour
7 years ago
I quite like this.
ReplyDeleteThe colloquialisms are a bit distracting. Maybe change the words "lousy" and "doodle"- they just seem out of place.
But tbh the middle part re. Emu/Emo actually made me Lol ("I am awfully old")
:)